QUOTES --- HUMOROUS

 
(with LINKS to more)

Home page > This HUMOROUS-QUOTES (and LINKS) page
! NOTE ! Like most 'LINKS' pages on the web, there will, no doubt, be
more and more dead links on this page over time. It may be years at a time
before I return to this page to remove dead links and replace some links
with better links. In the meantime, 'WEB SEARCH links' are provided on this page.

"Serious" quotes (philosophical, political, sociological) are on a different page.

Some quotes are both humorous and philosophical and may appear on either page, or both.

Example: "Life is like a box of chocolates ..." - Forrest Gump

Introduction :

The following quotes are in no groups at this time --- i. e. they are not collected into categories, yet. And the list of quotes are in no particular order at this time.

However, some keywords, that help classify each quote, are placed near each quote --- to help find it, as follows.

As a flexible and comprehensive way of locating quotes of interest ...

You can use the Find option of your browser to find keywords, such as "persistence" or "persist" or "try" or "age" or "money" or "mother".

For some quotes, there will be links to web sites with information about the author or source of the quote.

There are web links about quotes available via this page. At the bottom of this page are some links to "web directories" of web links that have to do with Quotes and Humor --- and there are some 'WEB SEARCH' links on keywords like 'quote humorous'.


If there appear to be a lot of quotes collecting on certain topics --- such as "medicine" or "health" or "government" or "politics" --- then the quotes on this page may (eventually) be grouped together.

When a quote could be assigned to multiple groups, a single group will be chosen --- to avoid maintenance of duplicates. You will still be able to find the quote with a keyword search.

"I am going to live forever --- or die trying."

- unknown source

(Keywords: live, forever, die, try, age)


This was true of Carlin. It is, no doubt, why he
suffered so much frustration and depression later in life
--- like Mark Twain.

"Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint.
However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack."


- Richter cartoon caption

(Keywords: orthodox medicine, answer, complaint, quack)

"A DEAL'S A DEAL"
-- engraved on the wedding bands
of actress Courtney Cox Arquette and
her actor husband David Arquette

(Unfortunately, the deal did not last.)

(Keywords: marriage, agreement, accord, contract, deal)

"Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is
taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be
a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe."


- Unknown

(Keywords: reading, words, spelling, letters, order)

"You will rue this day. Well go on. Start rue-ing."

- Unknown

(Keywords: rue, regret)

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

- John Lennon (1940-1980)

(Keywords: life, happenings, busy, plans)

"Virginians are all snobs, and I like snobs. A snob has to spend so much time
being a snob that he has little left to meddle with you."


- William Faulkner (1897-1962)

(Keywords: Virginians, snobs, time, meddle)

"Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."

- the Dilbert cartoon character [created by Scott Adams, cartoonist],
to a new employee at his company who has just been
through a morale-destroying, first-day orientation.

(Keywords: work, employee, orientation, hope, feeling, emptiness)

"There are only 10 types of people in the world:
Those who understand binary and those who don't."


- Unknown author

(Keywords: people types, binary, one, zero, ten, understand)

"He wasn't exactly God's gift to polynomials."

- line from the TV series 'The Wonder Years',
spoken by a math teacher, in the episode called 'Goodbye'

(Keywords: math, teacher, student, God's gift, polynomial)

Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money,
they will lose their incentive to invest.
As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive,
because we've given them too much money.


- George Carlin

(Apparently more money works differently for the rich and the poor.
Apparently, we are to believe that the rich are uncorrupted by more money
--- that all rich will use the money wisely. Hah!)

(Keywords: conservatives, rich, more money, incentive, poor)

QUOTES (HUMOROUS) - "WEB DIRECTORY" sites (such as DMOZ)

< Go to Top of this page, above. >

QUOTES (Humorous) - SOME EXTERNAL LINKS sites

< Go to Top of this page, above. >

Bottom of the QUOTES - HUMOROUS (with LINKS) page.

To return to a previously visited web page location, click on
the Back button of your web browser, a sufficient number of times.
OR, use the History-list option of your web browser.
OR ...

< Go to Top of this page, above. >
< Go to Home page. >

Or you can scroll up, toward the top of this page.

Page was created 2006 jul 26. Changed 2011 Nov30.
Page was changed 2015 Jun 18. (Removed dead links to the old
Google and Yahoo 'web-directories'. Added some 'WEB SEARCH' links
and some images.)
Page was changed 2015 Jun 18. (Added an EXTERNAL LINKS section.)