Economy Humor

A Glossary of Terms

Updated for the new era
in American finance

(2009 Jan blog post)

Home page > Blog menu >

This humorous glossary of economic terms page

At the time of the economic 'meltdown' of 2007-2008, we could use a little humor.

Below is a glossary of terms --- re-defined for the new age in U.S. finance.

Updated Stock Market Terms :

  • CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer

  • CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer

  • Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

  • Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

  • Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.

  • P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

  • Broker - What my financial advisor has made me.

  • Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.

  • Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock

  • Stock Split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

  • Financial Planner - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

  • Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

  • Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

  • Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

  • Windows - What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought the Yahoo stock for $240 per share.

  • Institutional Investor - Former investor who’s now locked up in the nuthouse or prison.

  • Profit - An archaic word no longer in use.

These updated definitions come thanks to a 2008Oct09 posting on a forum site that went dead.

This list may still be available on a page at

OR ... you can try WEB SEARCHES such as:

Chart of Typical Investor Thinking through Market Peaks and Valleys

Bottom of this
Economy Humor - An Updated Glossary of Terms page.

To return to a previously visited web page location, click on the Back button of your web browser, a sufficient number of times. OR, use the History-list option of your web browser.
OR ...

< Go to Top of Page, above. >

Or you can scroll up, to the top of this page.

Page was posted 2009 Jan 29.

Page was changed 2009 Aug 23. (to allow for better printing.)

Page was changed 2018 Nov 12. (Added css and javascript to try to handle text-size for smartphones, esp. in portrait orientation.)

This web page is coded so that the images will
print out on separate pages (not spanning two pages)
and without clipping the widest image on the right,
BUT you may have to print at a scale of 80% or less.

The Print-Preview option of many web browsers
supports such scaling, as well as other page formatting options,
such as reduction of margins.